161 lines
6.6 KiB
HTML
161 lines
6.6 KiB
HTML
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<h1 class="post-title"><p>Don’t chase: Become the good one</p>
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</h1>
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<span>Feb 4, 2017</span>
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• <span>Reading time: 3 minutes</span>
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<article class="post-content">
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<p>When it comes to relationships, most (unsuccessful) people are <em>chasing</em> the good ones.
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They spend time trying to find their dream partner, the perfect match, but hey, do you qualify
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as the dream partner of your dream partner? You fantasize about your dream partner, but have you ever
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thought what kind of partner does he/she dream of?</p>
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<span class="image-caption">I want an angel with…</span></p>
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<p>It seems to be pretty acceptable in the society to start <em>looking</em> for a <em>good</em> partner once you
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reach a certain age (depending on the country), and that’s when people start defining for themselves what
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a <em>good</em> partner means. What do they want out of a relationship? Well, most beginners just want sex, that’s one thing,
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but I’m talking about real, intimate relationships. The definition usually goes like this:</p>
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<p>I want him/her to have</p>
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<ul>
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<li>Money</li>
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<li>Body</li>
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<li>Sense of Humor</li>
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<li>Empathy</li>
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<li>…</li>
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</ul>
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<p>Alright fine, that’s a good and necessary step while thinking about a relationship.</p>
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<p>Now there are two groups of people after this step, let’s call them Group A and Group B.</p>
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<p>Group A’s next step is to start looking for partners, which usually follows by installing Tinder, OkCupid and a bunch of other
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dating apps, spending more time in the bar, etc. Well it makes sense to start looking for a partner at first glance, but people in Group A
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are missing an important point here, they defined what a <em>good partner</em> means in their dictionary of life, but they haven’t
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really looked into their <em>good partner</em>’s dictionary to see what he/she wants out of a relationship, because if you don’t qualify her requirements,
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it’s not a deal.</p>
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<p>Now there is a sub-group of Group A, too, and it includes the people who faced with the question “am I what she dreams of?”, they
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try to cheat and modify their definition of a good partner, adding a line that goes “Loves me however I am”, sorry buddy, but what if I
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tell you she could add the same line to her dictionary? That’s not a deal, you want a good partner as you defined it, you have to be a good partner
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as she defines it.</p>
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<p>On the other hand, Group B doesn’t follow the same path as Group A. Group B starts by trying to predict what his dream partner would want
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out of a relationship. Empathy? Loyalty? Knowledge? Body? They take a pen and a paper out and write a list of what they think their dream partner
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would want them to have, what would she want them to be, and they start working on those, and I bet it’s not going to be easy, knowledge doesn’t pop up
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after a good night’s sleep, you have to spend years reading books and learning to get it. A good body doesn’t <em>poof</em> out if you wish it to, you have
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to spend years being committed to exercise and eating well, and that’s not easy. After all, what you define as a good partner ain’t easy either, is it?</p>
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<p>Now do you want your dream partner to fall for you the way you fall for her, without having to chase her with a net? Write down a list of
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qualifications you expect your dream partner to look for, and start working your ass off reaching them, and I tell you, you will have a much easier <em>next step</em> after this. You won’t have to chase girls hoping the 34th one doesn’t reject you because “she likes you however you are”.</p>
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<p>If I know one thing about life, it’s the fact that you have to work your ass off in order to reach your dreams, dreams aren’t easy, and a deep, intimate relationship really is a dream.</p>
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