diff --git a/_drafts/2016-11-09-ambitions-are-hard.md b/_drafts/2016-11-09-ambitions-are-hard.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..79ae70c --- /dev/null +++ b/_drafts/2016-11-09-ambitions-are-hard.md @@ -0,0 +1,34 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Ambitions are hard" +date: 2016-11-09 19:43:00 +permalink: ambitions-are-hard +categories: life +published: false +--- + +> Ambition: a cherished desire; a strong drive for success + +Sitting at my desk, lights off, headphones around my ear, I'm trying to concentrate on my next +achievement, though small, it fits in my roadmap. At the time of working on _A_, I'm thinking about all the +_B_s and _C_s and _D_s that I have to attend to next, they all beg for my attention, but I have to focus on A right now, +so I increase the volume of music and focus. + +Half an hour past, I'm back to answering beggings of _B_s and _C_s and _D_s. I manage to +finish _A_ after some time, move on to _B_ and a new _A_ arises in the process, the source never exhausts. + +After a day distributed between achievements, laying in the bad I start thinking about everything that I'm giving up in order to reach my dreams. +There comes the never-satisfactory-comparison between dreams, is giving up X worth Y? There is never a right answer, +that's when depression builds up, I feel bad throughout the day, but still I do what I have to do. + +I know there is a desire inside of me for playing, for having fun, sometimes for doing nothing, +but it seems my _strong drive for success_ convinces me the delayed gratification of my dream is greater. + +Every once in a while, I break and go around nature, I forget about everything and just give in +to my current moments, there is no _A_ or _B_ or any other fucking letter anymore, I'm free! + +After returning to work, I feel much better for a while, a week or two, and then the cycle restarts. + +I don't know if that's called life anymore. + +-- 2016 11 09, 20:13:00, mahdi diff --git a/_drafts/2016-11-09-managing-ambitions.md b/_drafts/2016-11-09-managing-ambitions.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..afd2c23 --- /dev/null +++ b/_drafts/2016-11-09-managing-ambitions.md @@ -0,0 +1,26 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Managing Ambitions" +date: 2016-11-09 19:43:00 +permalink: managing-ambitions +categories: life +published: false +--- + +> Ambition: a cherished desire; a strong drive for success + +Sitting at my desk, lights off, headphones around my ear, I'm trying to concentrate on my next +achievement, though small, it fits in my roadmap. At the time of working on _A_, I'm thinking about all the +_B_s and _C_s and _D_s that I have to attend to next, they all beg for my attention, but I have to focus on A right now, +so I increase the volume of music and focus. + +Half an hour past, I'm back to answering beggings of _B_s and _C_s and _D_s. I manage to +finish _A_ after some time, move on to _B_ and a new _A_ arises in the process, the source never exhausts. + +After a day distributed between achievements, laying in the bad I start thinking about everything that I'm losing in order to gain my dreams. +There comes the never-satisfactory-comparison between dreams, is giving up X worth Y? There is never a right answer, +that's when depression builds up, I feel bad throughout the day, but still I do what I have to do. + +I know there is a desire inside of me for playing, for having fun, sometimes for doing nothing, +but it seems my _strong drive for success_ convinces me the delayed gratification of hitting my dream +is greater. Okay that sounds fine, but I feel dead inside now, what about that? diff --git a/_posts/2016-11-15-immortals-go-extinct.md b/_posts/2016-11-15-immortals-go-extinct.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..1026000 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2016-11-15-immortals-go-extinct.md @@ -0,0 +1,69 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Immortals go extinct" +permalink: immortals-go-extinct/ +categories: life +--- + +We are all going to die, we all know that well.

+Now I want to take you to a world of immortals where humans don't die, +they live and live and live and... you know, live. From now on, pretend I'm a human +on this world of immortals, I'm immortal bitches. + +--- + +![immortals chatting](/img/immortals.jpg) + +In this world, there is no excitement in jumping from a cliff or doing flips over walls +or pretending to be a bird or even loving each other, in general, there is no +excitement in any experience, because there is nothing to miss if I don't do that right now, +I will always have another chance to do that again, even if that's going to be a thousand years from now, +because you know, we're all good at waiting here. + +There is no technology and no fast transportation system here, +because, hell, who gives a fuck about fast transportation systems. + +Who gives a shit about tools to harvest more food, or something you can write with, +you can know about our meaningless past as much as you want, there are always people to tell you about that. + +Who cares if 2 + 2 = 4 or 5, I'm not going to die if the non-existing plane crashes because of an error, +none of that is needed. + +We have an infinite amount of time to explore the globe, but we don't, +because there is no fun in doing that, how is that, you might ask. Someone from your world told me +I should explain it this way: + +> Simple mathematics we know says, in an infinite timespan, no other timespan is significant, basically, +any number divided by infinity yields zero. Your neighbour could tell you about how he spent a thousand years +exploring Earth, eating bugs and trying different methods to kill himself, and you could tell him +he literally spent 0% of his life doing all that, same as you, who just stood there. + +![any fucking number / infinity = 0](/img/division-by-infinity.jpg) + +Now I don't understand much of that, but I had enough time, and nothing else to do, to repeat this to myself +since he told me that until now. + +Here, in this world, we can't suicide, if that was an option, we know well that we would go extinct +soon after finding out the fact that we are immortals, we really don't like this numb life. + +--- + +_Pooof_ + +Alright I'm back. You see, we need death, we really do, without death our lives +would be meaningless, we would have no purpose. Okay we would probably still [contribute to increase of entropy of the universe](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HxTnqKuNygE), but that's not what we _want_ to be here for, we want a higher purpose in life, and it's death that gifts us this +higher purpose. + +When I was a kid, I was told that in order to stay alive after death, you have to submit your name on this planet, and +in this universe if possible. I know, that might sound ridiculous, but aren't we all fighting for the same thing, but in our own +ways? Maybe you just want to be remembered between a specific group of people (and that's perfectly fine) or you might +actually want to become a global role model, like Gandhi, Albert Einstein and people alike, it doesn't matter, what matters is, +we all want to be remembered for what we've done in our way to the end. + +Immortals go extinct, but mortals find a mission to accomplish before the +deadline. Be grateful for this gift of death. + + + + + diff --git a/img/division-by-infinity.jpg b/img/division-by-infinity.jpg new file mode 100644 index 0000000..576f2ae Binary files /dev/null and b/img/division-by-infinity.jpg differ diff --git a/img/immortals.jpg b/img/immortals.jpg new file mode 100644 index 0000000..b386500 Binary files /dev/null and b/img/immortals.jpg differ