diff --git a/_posts/2017-02-04-dont-chase.md b/_posts/2017-02-04-dont-chase.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..08e2d62 --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2017-02-04-dont-chase.md @@ -0,0 +1,55 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Don't chase: Become the good one" +permalink: dont-chase-become-the-good-one/ +categories: life +excerpt_separator: +--- + +When it comes to relationships, most (unsuccessful) people are _chasing_ the good ones. +They spend time trying to find their dream partner, the perfect match, but hey, do you qualify +as the dream partner of your dream partner? You fantasize about your dream partner, but have you ever +thought what kind of partner does he/she dream of? + +![I want an angel with...](/img/angel.jpg) +{% include caption.html text='I want an angel with...' %} + + + +It seems to be pretty acceptable in the society to start _looking_ for a _good_ partner once you +reach a certain age (depending on the country), and that's when people start defining for themselves what +a _good_ partner means. What do they want out of a relationship? Well, most beginners just want sex, that's one thing, +but I'm talking about real, intimate relationships. The definition usually goes like this: + +I want him/her to have +* Money +* Body +* Sense of Humor +* Empathy +* ... + +Alright fine, that's a good and necessary step while thinking about a relationship. + +Now there are two groups of people after this step, let's call them Group A and Group B. + +Group A's next step is to start looking for partners, which usually follows by installing Tinder, OkCupid and a bunch of other +dating apps, spending more time in the bar, etc. Well it makes sense to start looking for a partner at first glance, but people in Group A +are missing an important point here, they defined what a _good partner_ means in their dictionary of life, but they haven't +really looked into their _good partner_'s dictionary to see what he/she wants out of a relationship, because if you don't qualify her requirements, +it's not a deal. + +Now there is a sub-group of Group A, too, and it includes the people who faced with the question "I am what she dreams of?", they +try to cheat and modify their definition of a good partner, adding a line that goes "Loves me however I am", sorry buddy, but what if I +tell you she could add the same line to her dictionary? That's not a deal, you want a good partner as you defined it, you have to be a good partner +as she defines it. + +On the other hand, Group B doesn't follow the same path as Group A. Group B starts by trying to predict what his dream partner would want +out of a relationship. Empathy? Loyalty? Knowledge? Body? They take a pen and a paper out and write a list of what they think their dream partner +would want them to have, what would she want them to be, and they start working on those, and I bet it's not going to be easy, knowledge doesn't pop up +after a good night's sleep, you have to spend years reading books and learning to get it. A good body doesn't _poof_ out if you wish it to, you have +to spend years being committed to exercise and eating well, and that's not easy. After all, what you define as a good partner ain't easy either, is it? + +Now do you want your dream partner to fall for you the way you fall for her, without having to chase her with a net? Write down a list of +qualifications you expect your dream partner to look for, and start working your ass off reaching them, and I tell you, you will have a much easier _next step_ after this. You won't have to chase girls hoping the 34th one doesn't reject you because "she likes you however you are". + +If I know one thing about life, it's the fact that you have to work your ass off in order to reach your dreams, dreams aren't easy, and a deep, intimate relationship really is a dream. diff --git a/img/angel.jpg b/img/angel.jpg new file mode 100644 index 0000000..57a7c15 Binary files /dev/null and b/img/angel.jpg differ