diff --git a/_posts/2016-11-15-immortals-go-extinct.md b/_posts/2016-11-15-immortals-go-extinct.md index 6d96c09..6e149ad 100644 --- a/_posts/2016-11-15-immortals-go-extinct.md +++ b/_posts/2016-11-15-immortals-go-extinct.md @@ -3,6 +3,7 @@ layout: post title: "Immortals go extinct" permalink: immortals-go-extinct/ categories: life +excerpt_separator: --- We are all going to die, we all know that well.

@@ -10,11 +11,12 @@ Now I want to take you to a world of immortals where humans don't die, they live and live and live and... you know, live. From now on, pretend I'm a human on this world of immortals, I'm immortal bitches. ---- - ![immortals chatting](/img/immortals.jpg) {% include caption.html text='There is no campfire because they don\'t need it' %} + +--- + In this world, there is no excitement in jumping from a cliff or doing flips over walls or pretending to be a bird or even loving each other, in general, there is no excitement in any experience, because there is nothing to miss if I don't do that right now, diff --git a/_posts/2016-12-26-high-frequency-fuck-ups.md b/_posts/2016-12-26-high-frequency-fuck-ups.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..04abbef --- /dev/null +++ b/_posts/2016-12-26-high-frequency-fuck-ups.md @@ -0,0 +1,71 @@ +--- +layout: post +title: "Stop High-Frequency Fuck-ups" +permalink: stop-high-frequency-fuck-ups/ +categories: life +excerpt_separator: +--- + +**High-Frequency Fuck-Ups**: + +> The cyclic process of "pushing yourself hard for a week, getting something done, and then feeling depressed and fucked up + for the next week" + +Sounds familiar? Read on. + +![High-Frequency Fuck-ups](/img/productivity-chart.jpg) +{% include caption.html text='Visual demonstration of High-Frequency Fuck-ups' %} + + + +Basically, you push yourself so fucking hard that you become a superstar in a week, and then all of a sudden +you are under a rain of hopelessness. All depression triggers start clicking and you are +lost. At best, you spend a week of depression and start rising to productivity again, but that's it, +it's a cycle you never exit and it gets worse and worse with every iteration, your depressions become longer +and longer unless you understand you don't need to climb a slope of 89° to become a superstar, +you can do it on a 45°, or even 20°, or even 1°, only it takes patience, but works out much better! + +I used to be on High-Frequency Fuck-ups for almost a year, after entering college and getting a job at the same time, +I was under a lot of pressure, I wanted to be best in my work, and in my college, and in everything! Okay, that's not +bad on it's own, but I was on the wrong road, I thought that's the way it has to work, you push yourself for some time, +get 5% of the road down, and then you get depressed, but you just have to go through it. But I was wrong, badly wrong. + +I only got more and more frustrated with my life, I started hating my job, hating my college and everything in between. +My depressions used to be a few days at max after each iteration of superstar-ism at first, but it got worse until I reached depressions +of two weeks. I couldn't attend to my exercise anymore, I wouldn't read the books I wanted to, even my social life was +breaking apart, I was dead, I only knew how to work some stuff out in short spans of time, but I couldn't control the +side effect it brought, the depression. + +To be honest, those superstar peaks felt really good as I would actually accomplish things I couldn't do before, in a just week! +That's why I kept this habit for a year, but at some point I realised this is not going to work long-term, with the rate of +depressions getting longer and longer, I was risking _my life_, who knows what would've happened once I got to a whole month, +or even two months of depression, and I couldn't be saved, I was in a state of denial, I thought +"These people don't understand! That's the path you have to take to be great!", so I wouldn't listen to anyone telling me to slow the fuck down. + +At the time, I had two roommates, and they knew about my state, it was so visible, I would work like robots for a week, bumped up +and excited, and then I would go down for the next week, feeling groggy and sad the whole time. + +One night I and one of my roommates, Saeed, started talking, not directly about this topic, but we got there and he told me +I should slow down and move at a more controllable pace. He was not the only one telling me that, I was told this a lot, +either directly or indirectly, but I always denied it. This time, I thought about it, a lot, because I was tired of my High-Frequency Fuck-ups, +yet I was not sure if he was right or I was, so I continued my High-Frequency Fuck-ups for another two or three months +before deciding I should at least _try_ slowing down. + +I slowly slowed down, the depressions went away, I would accomplish the things I wanted, only slightly longer, but damn, it was great! +I could continue getting stuff done without feeling fucked up and crying whole days and nights in my bed, I could the things I loved +without any fucking side effects! + +At first, I had the doubt "Am I becoming one of _those_ people? People who don't get things done and don't grow?", but after some time, +I realised I am actually getting things done much better! It was easy to see for me and the people around me that I was much happier, +I was in control of my life and I was enjoying it. The only difference was patience, instead of rushing to get the next big thing done +in a short amount of time, I took patience in checking my list off, and suddenly everything was much more fun. + +Now I study, play an instrument, exercise everyday, go running, read books, watch movies, write, eat and sleep well all at the same time, +and I don't feel a bit depressed. Sadness is something, depression is another, I do get sad, but not depressed. I feel alive and active. + +I've become much better socially, my interactions with my friends are much more alive now. I could see it in my friends' eyes when I used to +be a robot, they were like "What the fuck is going on with you man?", yes, exactly that phrase, but now I'm no longer a slave of High-Frequency Fuck-ups, +I have so much fun with my friends. + +The takeaway is, stop High-Frequency Fuck-ups, slow down, take things one bite at a time and you will eventually accomplish what you are aiming for, +if only with a little more patience, you won't have depression blocking your way and fogging your brain every other week. diff --git a/img/productivity-chart.jpg b/img/productivity-chart.jpg new file mode 100644 index 0000000..66c59b4 Binary files /dev/null and b/img/productivity-chart.jpg differ