161 lines
6.6 KiB
HTML
161 lines
6.6 KiB
HTML
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<!DOCTYPE html>
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<html>
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<head>
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<meta charset="utf-8">
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<meta http-equiv="X-UA-Compatible" content="IE=edge">
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<meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width, initial-scale=1">
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<title>Don't chase: Become the good one</title>
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<meta name="description" content="When it comes to relationships, most (unsuccessful) people are chasing the good ones.They spend time trying to find their dream partner, the perfect match, b...">
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<link href="https://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Secular+One|Nunito|Mononoki" rel="stylesheet">
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<link rel="stylesheet" href="/css/main.css">
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<link rel="canonical" href="http://localhost:4000/dont-chase-become-the-good-one/">
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<link rel="alternate" type="application/rss+xml" title="mahdi" href="http://localhost:4000/feed.xml" />
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<!--<script src="https://cdn.mathjax.org/mathjax/latest/MathJax.js?config=TeX-AMS-MML_HTMLorMML" type="text/javascript"></script>-->
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<script>
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var channel = new BroadcastChannel('egg');
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channel.addEventListener('message', message => {
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alert('Got a message from the other tab:\n' + message.data);
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});
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</script>
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</head>
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<body>
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<header class="site-header">
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<h1>
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<a class='site-title' href='/'>
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mahdi
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</a>
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</h1>
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<nav>
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<p>
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<a href="/snippets">snippets</a>
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<a href="/art">pictures</a>
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</p>
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<!--<p class='categories'>-->
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<!---->
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<!---->
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<!--<a href="">art</a>-->
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<!---->
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<!---->
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<!---->
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<!---->
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<!--</p>-->
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<p>
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<a href='mailto:mdibaiee@pm.me'>email</a>
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<a href='https://git.mahdi.blog/mahdi'>git</a>
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<a href='https://www.librarything.com/profile/mdibaiee'>librarything</a>
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<a href="http://localhost:4000/feed.xml">feed</a>
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</p>
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</nav>
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</header>
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<div class="page-content">
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<div class="wrapper">
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<h1 class="page-heading"></h1>
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<div class='post lang-en'>
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<div class="post-header">
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<h1 class="post-title"><p>Don’t chase: Become the good one</p>
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</h1>
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<p class="post-meta">
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<span>Feb 4, 2017</span>
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• <span>Reading time: 3 minutes</span>
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</p>
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</div>
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<article class="post-content">
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<p>When it comes to relationships, most (unsuccessful) people are <em>chasing</em> the good ones.
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They spend time trying to find their dream partner, the perfect match, but hey, do you qualify
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as the dream partner of your dream partner? You fantasize about your dream partner, but have you ever
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thought what kind of partner does he/she dream of?</p>
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<p><img src="/img/angel.jpg" alt="I want an angel with..." />
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<span class="image-caption">I want an angel with…</span></p>
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<!--more-->
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<p>It seems to be pretty acceptable in the society to start <em>looking</em> for a <em>good</em> partner once you
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reach a certain age (depending on the country), and that’s when people start defining for themselves what
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a <em>good</em> partner means. What do they want out of a relationship? Well, most beginners just want sex, that’s one thing,
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but I’m talking about real, intimate relationships. The definition usually goes like this:</p>
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<p>I want him/her to have</p>
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<ul>
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<li>Money</li>
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<li>Body</li>
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<li>Sense of Humor</li>
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<li>Empathy</li>
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<li>…</li>
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</ul>
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<p>Alright fine, that’s a good and necessary step while thinking about a relationship.</p>
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<p>Now there are two groups of people after this step, let’s call them Group A and Group B.</p>
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<p>Group A’s next step is to start looking for partners, which usually follows by installing Tinder, OkCupid and a bunch of other
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dating apps, spending more time in the bar, etc. Well it makes sense to start looking for a partner at first glance, but people in Group A
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are missing an important point here, they defined what a <em>good partner</em> means in their dictionary of life, but they haven’t
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really looked into their <em>good partner</em>’s dictionary to see what he/she wants out of a relationship, because if you don’t qualify her requirements,
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it’s not a deal.</p>
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<p>Now there is a sub-group of Group A, too, and it includes the people who faced with the question “am I what she dreams of?”, they
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try to cheat and modify their definition of a good partner, adding a line that goes “Loves me however I am”, sorry buddy, but what if I
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tell you she could add the same line to her dictionary? That’s not a deal, you want a good partner as you defined it, you have to be a good partner
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as she defines it.</p>
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<p>On the other hand, Group B doesn’t follow the same path as Group A. Group B starts by trying to predict what his dream partner would want
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out of a relationship. Empathy? Loyalty? Knowledge? Body? They take a pen and a paper out and write a list of what they think their dream partner
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would want them to have, what would she want them to be, and they start working on those, and I bet it’s not going to be easy, knowledge doesn’t pop up
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after a good night’s sleep, you have to spend years reading books and learning to get it. A good body doesn’t <em>poof</em> out if you wish it to, you have
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to spend years being committed to exercise and eating well, and that’s not easy. After all, what you define as a good partner ain’t easy either, is it?</p>
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<p>Now do you want your dream partner to fall for you the way you fall for her, without having to chase her with a net? Write down a list of
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qualifications you expect your dream partner to look for, and start working your ass off reaching them, and I tell you, you will have a much easier <em>next step</em> after this. You won’t have to chase girls hoping the 34th one doesn’t reject you because “she likes you however you are”.</p>
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<p>If I know one thing about life, it’s the fact that you have to work your ass off in order to reach your dreams, dreams aren’t easy, and a deep, intimate relationship really is a dream.</p>
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</article>
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<div class="share-page">
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Share in
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<a href="https://twitter.com/intent/tweet?text=Don't chase: Become the good one&url=http://localhost:4000/dont-chase-become-the-good-one/&via=&related=" rel="nofollow" target="_blank" title="Share on Twitter">Twitter</a>
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<a href="https://facebook.com/sharer.php?u=http://localhost:4000/dont-chase-become-the-good-one/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank" title="Share on Facebook">Facebook</a>
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<a href="https://plus.google.com/share?url=http://localhost:4000/dont-chase-become-the-good-one/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank" title="Share on Google+">Google+</a>
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</div>
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<div id="commento"></div>
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<script defer
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src="//commento.mahdi.blog/js/commento.js">
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</script>
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<script src="/js/heading-links.js"></script>
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</div>
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</div>
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</div>
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</body>
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</html>
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