177 lines
8.2 KiB
HTML
177 lines
8.2 KiB
HTML
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<!DOCTYPE html>
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<html>
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<head>
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<meta charset="utf-8">
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<meta http-equiv="X-UA-Compatible" content="IE=edge">
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<meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width, initial-scale=1">
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<title>Stop High-Frequency Fuck-ups</title>
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<meta name="description" content="High-Frequency Fuck-Ups: The cyclic process of “pushing yourself hard for a week, getting something done, and then feeling depressed and fucked up for the n...">
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<link href="https://fonts.googleapis.com/css?family=Secular+One|Nunito|Mononoki" rel="stylesheet">
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<link rel="stylesheet" href="/css/main.css">
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<link rel="canonical" href="http://localhost:4000/stop-high-frequency-fuck-ups/">
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<link rel="alternate" type="application/rss+xml" title="mahdi" href="http://localhost:4000/feed.xml" />
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<script>
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var channel = new BroadcastChannel('egg');
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channel.addEventListener('message', message => {
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alert('Got a message from the other tab:\n' + message.data);
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});
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</script>
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</head>
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<body>
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<header class="site-header">
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<h1>
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<a class='site-title' href='/'>
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mahdi
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</a>
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</h1>
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<nav>
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<p>
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<a href="/snippets">snippets</a>
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<a href="/art">pictures</a>
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</p>
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<!---->
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<!---->
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<!--<a href="">art</a>-->
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<!---->
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<!---->
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<!---->
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<!---->
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<!--</p>-->
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<p>
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<a href='mailto:mdibaiee@pm.me'>email</a>
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<a href='https://git.mahdi.blog/mahdi'>git</a>
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<a href='https://www.librarything.com/profile/mdibaiee'>librarything</a>
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<a href="http://localhost:4000/feed.xml">feed</a>
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</p>
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</nav>
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</header>
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<div class="page-content">
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<div class="wrapper">
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<h1 class="page-heading"></h1>
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<div class='post lang-en'>
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<div class="post-header">
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<h1 class="post-title"><p>Stop High-Frequency Fuck-ups</p>
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</h1>
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<p class="post-meta">
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<span>Dec 26, 2016</span>
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• <span>Reading time: 5 minutes</span>
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</p>
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</div>
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<article class="post-content">
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<p><strong>High-Frequency Fuck-Ups</strong>:</p>
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<blockquote>
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<p>The cyclic process of “pushing yourself hard for a week, getting something done, and then feeling depressed and fucked up
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for the next week”</p>
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</blockquote>
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<p>Sounds familiar? Read on.</p>
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<p><img src="/img/productivity-chart.jpg" alt="High-Frequency Fuck-ups" />
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<span class="image-caption">Visual demonstration of High-Frequency Fuck-ups</span></p>
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<!--more-->
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<p>Basically, you push yourself so fucking hard that you become a superstar in a week, and then all of a sudden
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you are under a rain of hopelessness. All depression triggers start clicking and you are
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lost. At best, you spend a week of depression and start rising to productivity again, but that’s it,
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it’s a cycle you never exit and it gets worse and worse with every iteration, your depressions become longer
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and longer unless you understand you don’t need to climb a slope of 89° to become a superstar,
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you can do it on a 45°, or even 20°, or even 1°, only it takes patience, but works out much better!</p>
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<p>I used to be on High-Frequency Fuck-ups for almost a year, after entering college and getting a job at the same time,
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I was under a lot of pressure, I wanted to be best in my work, and in my college, and in everything! Okay, that’s not
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bad on it’s own, but I was on the wrong road, I thought that’s the way it has to work, you push yourself for some time,
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get 5% of the road down, and then you get depressed, but you just have to go through it. But I was wrong, badly wrong.</p>
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<p>I only got more and more frustrated with my life, I started hating my job, hating my college and everything in between.
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My depressions used to be a few days at max after each iteration of superstar-ism at first, but it got worse until I reached depressions
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of two weeks. I couldn’t attend to my exercise anymore, I wouldn’t read the books I wanted to, even my social life was
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breaking apart, I was dead, I only knew how to work some stuff out in short spans of time, but I couldn’t control the
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side effect it brought, the depression.</p>
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<p>To be honest, those superstar peaks felt really good as I would actually accomplish things I couldn’t do before, in a just week!
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That’s why I kept this habit for a year, but at some point I realised this is not going to work long-term, with the rate of
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depressions getting longer and longer, I was risking <em>my life</em>, who knows what would’ve happened once I got to a whole month,
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or even two months of depression, and I couldn’t be saved, I was in a state of denial, I thought
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“These people don’t understand! That’s the path you have to take to be great!”, so I wouldn’t listen to anyone telling me to slow the fuck down.</p>
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<p>At the time, I had two roommates, and they knew about my state, it was so visible, I would work like robots for a week, bumped up
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and excited, and then I would go down for the next week, feeling groggy and sad the whole time.</p>
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<p>One night I and one of my roommates, Saeed, started talking, not directly about this topic, but we got there and he told me
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I should slow down and move at a more controllable pace. He was not the only one telling me that, I was told this a lot,
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either directly or indirectly, but I always denied it. This time, I thought about it, a lot, because I was tired of my High-Frequency Fuck-ups,
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yet I was not sure if he was right or I was, so I continued my High-Frequency Fuck-ups for another two or three months
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before deciding I should at least <em>try</em> slowing down.</p>
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<p>I slowly slowed down, the depressions went away, I would accomplish the things I wanted, only slightly longer, but damn, it was great!
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I could continue getting stuff done without feeling fucked up and crying whole days and nights in my bed, I could do the things I loved
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without any fucking side effects!</p>
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<p>At first, I had the doubt “Am I becoming one of <em>those</em> people? People who don’t get things done and don’t grow?”, but after some time,
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I realised I am actually getting things done much better! It was easy to see for me and the people around me that I was much happier,
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I was in control of my life and I was enjoying it. The only difference was patience, instead of rushing to get the next big thing done
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in a short amount of time, I took patience in checking my list off, and suddenly everything was much more fun.</p>
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<p>Now I study, play an instrument, exercise everyday, go running, read books, watch movies, write, eat and sleep well all at the same time,
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and I don’t feel a bit depressed. Sadness is something, depression is another, I do get sad, but not depressed. I feel alive and active.</p>
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<p>I’ve become much better socially, my interactions with my friends are much more alive now. I could see it in my friends’ eyes when I used to
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be a robot, they were like “What the fuck is going on with you man?”, yes, exactly that phrase, but now I’m no longer a slave of High-Frequency Fuck-ups,
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I have so much fun with my friends.</p>
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<p>The takeaway is, stop High-Frequency Fuck-ups, slow down, take things one bite at a time and you will eventually accomplish what you are aiming for,
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if only with a little more patience, you won’t have depression blocking your way and fogging your brain every other week.</p>
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</article>
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<div class="share-page">
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